Dear Obsessmuch-Sleepless

Dear Obsessmuch,

Please help! I have been happily married for 12 years. Just before lockdown, my husband began working on his sleep hygiene. This meant he went to sleep around 9 pm because an app told him to. Our 10 year old twins still needed to be put to bed and I usually had laundry and dishes to deal with. So by the time I headed to the bedroom to wash up, my husband would have been asleep for at least 2 hours.

Now here’s the issue. My evening skincare regime is 8-10 steps. Usually while I’m double cleansing my husband wakes up and shouts that the bathroom light and the running water are bothering him and he needs a good night’s sleep and now it’s ruined.

I mean, I need a good night’s sleep too, I’m resentful that I’m the last to bed and the first awake, and I just want to do my evening skincare routine in peace. I don’t want to end my day pissed off that my husband yelled at me for washing my face loudly when he is getting, on average, 3 hours more sleep than I am.

Sincerely,

Undereye luggage

Dear Undereye luggage,

I'm sorry that you are personally victimized by your husband's commitment to his sleep app. But maybe the anger is misplaced. Are you upset that your otherwise darling husband is yelling at you during your amazingly thorough and much deserved self-care time? Or are you angry that he is sleeping like a baby and you are getting three hours less sleep than he is? You deserve self-care and a great night's sleep. You deserve quiet time with your husband when the kids are asleep.

Here is what I propose. Move your evening skincare products out of the master bedroom so that you may do your 8-10 steps in peace, and sleeping beauty can continue his virtuous nocturnal routine. If possible, also consider moving your laundry and dish chore time. Maybe the twins can start helping with putting away their clean clothes and doing the dinner dishes? That would mean once those adorable monkeys are down for the count, you don't have too many to do's before your skincare routine and you can get to bed at a decent hour. I also think that on weekends or a few designated week nights, your husband can set his sleep app for a later bedtime and he can put the monkeys to bed.

Cheers,

Obsessmuch